Dearest
by Koufukuron
Summary: X can't quite help but feel as if he's forgetting something very important to him, even as he tries to grasp at the loose threads of memories, clothed in shades of crimson, gold and blue, slipping through his fingers. XZero, lots of longing. First posted on AO3 on 06/10/2019.


**TITLE: **Dearest

**CHAPTERS: **1 (complete)

**WORD COUNT:** 3,481 words

**PAIRING:** XZero

**SUMMARY: **X can't quite help but feel as if he's forgetting something very important to him, even as he tries to grasp at the loose threads of memories, clothed in shades of crimson, gold and blue, slipping through his fingers.

**RATING: **R-ish, I guess? Nothing outright, apart from how much you want to read into X and Zero's relationship.

**DISCLAIMER: **This story is based on the now-non-canon X5 ending, in which X is revived but all his memories of Zero have been erased. I haven't played the X series in forever, though, so there might be some gaping potholes here and there. Looking up information online and trying to rectify those grey areas in my memory through actual playing and watching YouTube playthrough videos, though, so hopefully it's not that bad…

**NOTE: **Who would've thought that my return to fanfic would be through a very old fandom that I nearly forgot about, despite the Rockman series being there while I was growing up. I had such a huge thing on X/Zero back then, but for more than a decade I left those two to collect dust in the recesses of my mind. Reading all those fanfics and watching those gameplay videos lately, though, revived my love for these two reploids, so I thought I'd write a little something for them about them. Hopefully it doesn't end as a one-off thing and I actually resume writing.  
The idea for this actually came about while I was trying to find out more info about Martian Successor Nadesico, since the seiyuu list for it interested me - I came across pages detailing the plot for the movie, as well as the theme song, "Dearest", and as I was listening to it the basic concept for this piece popped into my head.

* * *

_"__Your voice, your hair – even if we were_

_to meet after a thousand years, I'd still remember them;_

_as numerous as the stars,_

_fragments of that day, thoughts of the future - _

_please give me all those memories, because I_

_can't erase you from my heart"_

_– Matsuzawa Yumi, "Dearest"_

* * *

It was the same dream that had been plaguing X for a while now, ever since he had returned to active duty a few weeks after his last battle with Sigma.

X would always find himself wandering about aimlessly in a vast desert all alone, the scorching sun burning shadows into the ground. He would be walking about, looking about for any signs of anyone else, when he would hear a whistle, and he would turn around –

only to find the blurred vision of a figure clad in red armour walking into the distance, his mane of golden hair flowing around him in the wind that had picked up out of nowhere.

X would always try to chase up to him, would try to call out for him to stop, but the figure only grew smaller as it blended into the setting sun, his voice fading into nothingness even as he reached an arm out to try and touch the figure before him…

…It was always at that point that the blue robot would wake up with a start, cold sweat running down the sides of his face, a hand clutching his chest armour, almost as if trying to rip it off so that he could reach inside his circuitry and grab whatever it was that was aching so badly within.

It was no different tonight, the seemingly gaping hole in his chest throbbing away, his processor whirring away loudly in his ears, even as he frantically scanned the room, eyes wide open and desperately searching for any sign of the figure that had up till a few seconds ago occupied his vision. All was silent in his room, save for the quiet hum of the recharging pod's processor, its faint blue lights glowing softly about X and casting pale shadows on his face even as his quick, shallow breaths drew out and lengthened, his pulse slowing down to a regular rhythm even as he brought his knees to his chest and buried his face in his arms, eyes shut tight as he tried to recall the vision in his dream, only to draw a blank every time.

_What… who is that? Why does he seem so familiar…?_

"It is thanks to all of you that we have managed to defeated Sigma once again." X's voice could hardly be heard above the raucous cries of the crowd of both reploids and humans who had gathered to hear the leader of the 17th unit give a speech on behalf of the Maverick Hunters, a few weeks after the recent defeat of their longtime nemesis (their fifth, Signas had reminded him after his miraculous return from the dead).

"Though this peace may not last long, I hope that it will be a catalyst to help drive the relationship between humans and reploids closer. There is much rebuilding to be done, but let us take it one step at a time. I would therefore like to ask for all of your help in creating a brighter tomorrow for all of us, a future where we can all coexist in harmony and peace. Thank you very much." X finished his speech and descended the short flight of steps to the back of the stage, oblivious to the loud cheers and shouts of "X! Our hero!" the spectators were giving him. The rest of the Hunter team was waiting for him in the dimly-lit corridor leading away from the steps, and Alia took a step forward even as the shorter blue-clad robot approached her.

"Nice speech, X! I think it really helped both sides see…" Her voice trailed off as X's tired face came into her line of sight, the light above him illuminating his face, and she could not help but be taken aback by the dark circles featuring very prominently under the other robot's emerald green eyes and the tired expression on his face. "X, are you all right? You don't look like you've been doing well."

"Need me to get Lifesaver to run a few tests on you?" Douglas spoke, a worried look on his face. "I know we've been asking a lot of you lately, even though you just defeated Sigma, but…"

"No, it's all right." X cut the both of them off with a half-hearted wave of his hand. "Just been having a few sleepless nights lately, that's all." He smiled as if to reassure them that there was nothing wrong, though the hollow look in his eyes and the flat emptiness in his voice was anything but.

"X, I know this recent PR tour's been rather draining, especially since we're currently short on manpower and you're the one who's been doing the bulk of the work, since most of the other higher-ranked hunters are out on missions to clean up what's left of Sigma's units. Do you need some time off?" Signas started, only to be stopped by another wave of X's hand and a shrug of his shoulders, even as he continued walking towards the door at the far end of the corridor. "I'm all right – thanks. No rest for the weary, though – but that's about it. I'll manage, I think."

Alia's eyes were set on the shorter blue robot as he faded into the shadows, worry creeping across her face as the doors at the end of the corridor X had disappeared into shut resoundingly, the sound reverberating loudly in the corridor now that the din from above had faded as the crowd dispersed. "He… X always looks so lost nowadays. Do you think it has anything to do with…. _him_?" The pink-clad, blond navigator spoke the last word in a hushed whisper, almost as if she were afraid the blue robot would hear what she was saying.

Douglas frowned, even as he crossed his arms. "I'm afraid we can't tell. Lifesaver ran a few tests on him recently, but they all came up blank. Functionally nothing in his data's changed since the last time we did a thorough physical on him right before the Eurasia incident, but…"

"It's really strange though, the way he suddenly came back like that." Alia thought back to when they had found X left in front of the Maverick Hunters HQ, powered down but miraculously repaired and without a single scratch, despite the intensity of the explosion after his battle with Sigma where everyone had feared the worst.

"That, and how he still remembered everything, save for…..." Signas trailed off as he closed his eyes. "It's almost as if someone tampered with his memory and deleted only those particular sectors."

The female reploid sighed, putting a hand to her communicator even as she shook her head. "Not only that, he now refuses to accept any related data, no matter how tangential. Even I can't program a protection that advanced…" She turned her gaze to the gray doors that X had entered moments ago, their steely coldness glinting in the shadows lining the corridors. "Just…just what are you, X?"

The doors to X's room slid shut with a soft click, even as he sighed and sat down in the chair before his desk, leaning backwards into the headrest and closing his eyes.

The daily training session he had conducted with his unit had been unsettling for the fact that two of his men (newbies who had been assigned to his team right after the shuttle launch, as he recalled) had constantly asked him questions pertaining to a certain robot by the name of Zero.

Although his answer to their persistence was that he had no idea who they were talking about, even as the name creeped its way into his temporary memory banks, that had only earned more confused looks and a long speech from one of them on this mysterious Zero character, and the many wars against Sigma he had supposedly fought together with X.

_ …W…who is this? Did I really know him…?_

The sound of his doorbell chiming jolted X out of his thoughts, and he strode over and placed his hand over the security panel, the doors sliding open to reveal Alia, a stack of brown files in her hand.

"X, I know you just came back from training, but I'll need you to fill in these papers on your outfield mission, especially since a few of your men got injured by one of those maverick Mechaniloids. Signas needs them in order to file his report with the higher-ups, so…" She trailed off as X's pensive look registered in her sight. "X, what's wrong?"

"…Alia, who's this… Zero?"

"W…why do you ask, X?" Alia, startled by X's sudden question, could only stammer, even as she stood in his doorway, barely registering the doors closing behind her.

"It's… it's just that I have a feeling I'm forgetting something." X continued, looking down at his hands. "Some of my men, they mentioned his name… it feels like I've heard it before somewhere, but there's no trace of anything whatsoever in my memory banks. They keep claiming I've fought together with him, but I don't recall a single thing…"

"I… I'm not sure, X…" Alia could barely stutter her reply out, her circuits racing as she tried to come up with some sort of explanation that the blue robot would find satisfactory. "M…maybe he was someone you met a l….. long time ago? I mean, Dr. Cain did find you a hundred years ago… maybe he's part of some old data from back then?"

"It doesn't seem that way to me, though…" X furrowed his brows. "I thought of that possibility as well, and ran some self-diagnostics, but there's nothing in my memory banks dating back to that far back in the past that corresponds."

"Could it be just a memory glitch? You've been working very hard lately, after all." The blond navigator found herself sounding remarkably calm and composed, even as Alia's thoughts turned back to the conversation she had with Douglas and Signas the other day, and about how X had came back from the dead. "…Perhaps the person who repaired you after your battle with Sigma did something to your memory?"

"That may be the case, I won't deny that…" X sighed. "But why would whoever that person is do such a thing?"

"Maybe that person was… trying to protect you?" Alia offered softly. "Maybe… maybe that person thought that all those memories would only do you more harm than good, so…."

"I suppose you're right, Alia. Well, maybe I'll find out for myself later. Thanks for these – I'll have them sent back to you by the end of the day." X finally took the brown papers from Alia's hand and turned around, lifting a hand to open the sliding doors at the entrance for the female reploid as he disappeared into his room. Alia, though, could only remain where she was, staring at the spot where X was moments earlier, a whisper eventually escaping her throat as she tried to process the blue robot's words.

"'Find out for myself'…...? X, what does that even mean…?"

_It's that dream again_, X thought, as he found himself standing in the desert, mountains dotting the arid landscape.

"It's today or never…" The blue robot gritted his teeth and started walking through the sand, almost as if in anticipation of what was to come. He did not have to wait for long, though, before he heard the whistle, the same low baritone that had haunted his memories for the past few weeks. Spinning around, he saw that familiar figure clad in red again – only this time, the figure was standing still, instead of fading out of X's sight like it had done before.

"Wait!" X called out even as he ran to the figure, who stood in his place, the shorter robot raising a hand across his chest, almost as if to calm the sudden quickening of his pulse as he approached the taller being. X suddenly found himself flying forward, his mind barely registering the sensation of having tripped on some wayward stones before he landed facedown in the warm sand. Coughing as he shook his head, the blue robot looked up, only to find an outstretched hand in his line of vision.

Emerald eyes hurriedly focused, though all that X could see was the other robot's shadowed features, his back against the sun, even as he knelt down to help X up – what struck X the most, though, were the azure pupils shining brightly in the other's face, framed by his long, golden hair, even as the crimson-clad robot grabbed the shorter robot's hand and hauled him up. "Hey. You okay?"

X froze upon hearing the other figure speak, the familiar low tones sending ripples through his memories. _I think I've heard that voice before… but where? Why?_

"Y…yeah, I'm good, thank you." Finally finding his voice, he dusted himself off, even as the taller robot stood up and turned around, about to resume his journey.

"Wait! Who are you?" The figure stopped in his tracks, turning around to face X, the blue robot frowning as he continued, even as the other took a step forward, closing the distance between them. "I….. I think I know you from somewhere, but I just can't figure out who you are…"

"So he erased your memory, eh….. Can't blame the doctor for doing so." X could only blink, his cheeks rapidly growing flushed at the sudden, almost fierce embrace the taller robot drew him into; yet, the warmth of the other robot felt all too familiar and comforting, even as the empty ache in his chest suddenly felt at once a lot lighter, as if it were being filled by the other's presence, and he unconsciously wrapped his arms around the crimson robot's waist, burying his face into the other's chest armour even as the red-clad figure spoke again. "Sorry I can't be around for you anymore, X."

"Who… who are you? Did I know you?"

The taller robot chuckled softly, sadness resonating in his voice as his arms tightened about the blue robot. "…X. You have to be stronger, now that I'm gone. We were able to defeat Sigma together over the last few battles, but now that I can't fight against him anymore, you're our only hope." At that comment, X's eyes widened as a few blurred images suddenly sprung before his eyes, only to vanish as abruptly as they had appeared – of him crying and cradling in his arms a figure in red missing his lower half, the smoldering, sparking remains of Vile lying behind;

– of him facing a menacingly cackling Sigma, who stood next to a black-clad robot with a cold expression on his face, a saber in his hand;

– of him running alongside a taller robot, the other's long hair flowing behind him even as the rising sun painted their faces in shades of orange and gold;

– of him seeing on the monitor screen before him tired, vacant blue eyes haunted by the mindless slaughtering of countless Repliforce soldiers, even as explosions surrounded his escape pod in space.

And as they replayed in his mind, it suddenly struck X that the red robot in those memories was the same as the one before him now, and that he was about to lose him again, the thought sending a sharp, sudden chill through the blue robot.

X started panicking, his voice rising into a higher pitch, even as he grabbed the other robot's hand as he turned and started to leave once more, the images that had surfaced in the smaller robot's mind blurring into one mess. "No! Please, don't leave me! I can't remember anything, but something tells me I lost you before a while ago! I don't want to lose you again… please…" Tears rolled down the shorter robot's cheeks even as the other robot turned around to look at him again, his hardened gaze softening at the side of the crying robot in front of him before he bent down, wiping away X's tears with one hand, the other cupping X's chin gently and lifting it up so that blue eyes could look into green ones as he spoke.

"X… please, don't try to recall who I am anymore. It won't do either of us any good."

"W….. why?" X's voice was muffled, a choked sob escaping his throat even as he continued holding on tightly to the other's hand. "I can't recall your name or who you are, but I can tell you're very dear to me… so w… why can't I remember you?"

"…It's for the best. I was born for far less nobler purposes than you were, anyway." The taller robot smiled sadly, a hint of sadness in his voice. "Perhaps this is the way things should've been from the start. I was originally made to destroy everything in my path, after all, while you were meant to be a beacon of hope for the future."

"But remember, X." The figure leaned in again to plant a kiss on X's forehead, and the shorter robot closed his eyes as the other robot continued speaking, a soft kindness in his voice. "I'm always by your side – all you have to do is think of me, and I'll protect you."

X felt something being pressed into his hand, and opened his eyes to find a larger hand over his own, a saber hilt now between his fingers.

He looked up – and gasped to see a face looking down on his own, a sorrowful glint in those blue eyes, Zero's wistful smile tender as he continued. "Please, use this… I'll always be with you."

"Wait!" X raised his free hand to try and touch the taller robot's face, but a sudden gust of wind blew sand into his eyes, causing him to shut them, even as Zero's voice resounded around him, even as it grew softer.

"Thank you, X…"

X awoke with a start, gasping as his vision struggled to get used to the darkness of the room, even as he became aware of the tears trickling down the sides of his face.

_Why am I crying…?_

Sitting up in his recharging pod, he looked around, desperately searching for the crimson-clad figure he had been speaking to mere moments ago, but all that greeted him was the furniture in his room, which now seemed far too big and cold, even as the memory from his dream faded into the inky shadows shrouding his room. A faint green halo caught his attention, though, and he looked down into his lap to find the saber hilt glowing, its soft light comforting in the dark even as X shakily reached a hand towards it.

"Hunters! There are reports coming in of Mechaniloids going berserk in the Northern Ward, Block C, Street 18. We'll dispatch the 3rd and 7th squads over – please be ready to move out in ten minutes." Alia turned to face X. "X, we'll need the 17th to be their backup, so please get your men to ready themselves. We'll call for you again once the transports have delivered the other two squads safely."

"Got it, Alia." X turned around and was about to leave the command room, when the blond navigator noticed the saber hilt in the blue robot's hand, and her eyes widened. "X, that's… W-where'd you get it?"

"Oh, this?" X followed Alia's gaze, and he smiled gently as he brought the hilt up and before him. "I… I met the owner of this in my dreams. He told me to use it, and that he'll always be protecting me no matter what."

"I… I see." Alia murmured softly, even as Signas and Douglas glanced at her as she looked up again at X, an unreadable expression across her face. "Do you know how to use it? We don't have that many hunters left around here who're as well-versed in the saber, but…"

"Yeah, I think I do. That's the strange part though, since I don't remember getting any training for such a weapon…" X trailed off as he looked at the hilt in his hand, even as he loosened his grip and tightened his fingers about it again. Alia smiled sadly and averted her gaze, whispering softly. "Maybe you learned through watching? After all, he was your partner…"

"Sorry, Alia. Did you say something?"

"What? Oh, nothing…" Alia quickly turned back to the monitor display before her. "Apparently the 3rd has just left, so please get your men ready and be at the hangar in ten. We'll dispatch all of you once the first group of transports return."

X nodded and strode out of the command centre towards the hangar, gazing down at the hilt in his hand again.

_Please be with me, no matter where you are now…_


End file.
